Be The Leader

You Were Meant to Be

What is your definition of a leader? Is it someone who leads in our political system or maybe a top level CEO? Could a leader be a person who founded and grew a successful non-profit helping thousands of people become self-sustaining? What about Nelson Mandela who led the movement to free the people of South Africa, or Ruth Bader Ginsburg who became the first United States female Supreme Court Justice? And what about you?

What if you are a leader behind the skin you are hiding in? Are you ready to shed that skin? Now is the time! You have leadership skills in you and you don’t need to lead an entire country or start a huge business to be a leader. Leaders are individuals who inspire others to be the best version of themselves and make a difference for our planet.

Quality rather than quantity is key. So it boils down to what is the best version of yourself? Thinking about this question can help you explore the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual best version of yourself.


So let’s dive deeper in to each of these aspects.

I. Mental: You have a brain…AND you are not your brain. You are more than that. The good news is that neuroscientists have found when one part of your brain ceases to function at its peak, another part will compensate. This requires you to have persistence, vision and repetition.  Here is a link to research results done at Columbia University in New York showing brain compensation.

a. Persistence: A leader never, never, never gives up. The stone age part of your brain is designed to keep you safe. In fact, approximately 80% of what you listen to in your chatter is negative. Just as you are ready to have a breakthrough, the amygdala goes to work doing its job to keep you safe. Listening to this part of the brain will cause you to stop as you tell yourself stories why your idea won’t work and believing it is true.

b. Vision: Vision includes clarity of what you would love your life look like. Clarity requires you to be in alignment with who you truly are. What is your purpose? What are your values? What are your life intentions? What is your vision? Very few people can determine the above four things on their own so I would like to invite you to seek a program or coach who will help you rock and roll with clarity.

c. Repetition: Leaders practice, practice, practice. Even the most gifted athletes practice always. Find a supportive person or group to beef up your practice schedule.


II. Physical: Are you honoring the amazing body carrying you through the Third Dimension? The following are a few suggestions to consider. I am not a medical professional but I have a strong passion for health.

a. Are you eating well? (Below is the minimum)

  1. 5-6 servings minimum of fruits and vegetables daily.
  2. Approximately 50g of protein depending on your body weight, muscle, age, activity level, etc.
  3. Healthy fats.
  4. Moderating your alcohol and sweets intake.

You may be interested a blog about changing eating patterns written by my friend Cynthia Stadd.

b. Leaders exercise in one of the following ways….

  1. 3 days a week for a minimum of 60 minutes?
  2. 6-7 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes?

c. Are you sleeping well?

  1. 8-9 hours per night.
  2. Turning off technology 1-2 hours before bedtime.
  3. Leave your phone outside your bedroom when sleeping.
  4. Use an eye mask to take you into the deeper sleep states.
  5. Reduce alcohol and caffeine and use it earlier in the day rather than before bed.

d. Leaders know they are the master of their health. Are you attending regular doctor visits and following the recommendations that work for your body?


III.  Emotional:  Leaders know that what you focus on becomes your reality. The same is true for what comes out of your mouth.

a.  Smile at others. Be amazed when they smile back.

b. Show compassion for other people’s Hero’s Journey as Joseph Campbell identified. We are all on this amazing journey to be the best version of ourselves. We have no idea of the learning another person is seeking through the way they are being and what they say.

c. Meditate. Researchers at the University of Waterloo in Canada found that meditating for just 10 minutes a day is enough to see significant results. As long as it’s done consistently, sitting still and breathing deeply for just 10 minutes can help you concentrate better throughout the day. If you have the wherewithal to meditate 20 minutes, this will make a huge impact on your overall wellness.

d. Hobby or Passion. Dive into what makes you happy.

e. Serve others with your gift.

f. Give to others in need. It is in giving that we receive and that’s not why you want to give. Give with an open heart.

g. Lean-In. Shying away from fear begets more fear.

h. Monitor the time you are reading, watching or listening to the news. Maybe CNN is an acronym for Constant Negative News. Negative news creates more negative stories and fear in our life. Read, watch and listen to only enough to stay informed.


IV. Spiritual: It doesn’t matter what your belief system is. What matters is that you are honoring those beliefs without judging others for theirs.

a. Gratitude: Gratitude is one of the most helpful practices we can include in our daily routine. Do you keep a gratitude journal where you write down 3-5 things that you are grateful for each morning or evening? Do it once a day. Do you become present throughout your day for 30-40 seconds when you notice you are enjoying, liking or amazed by what is occurring? Try it and rewire your brain from fear and anxiety to gratitude.

b. Get out in Mother Nature several times a week at the very minimum. Walk around a lake, on a path, in the woods, etc. We are connected to Mother Earth and all living beings. Nature can have a direct impact on your well-being. If you’ve ever felt stressed, go out into nature and notice the calming effect it has on you. No kidding!

c.  Breathe deep into your belly. It will relieve stress from anxiety, overwork and fear. I once learned to breathe into my belly by laying on my stomach and breathing until my body rose up from my belly. Try it. It works.


Many successful leaders wants to live a long life contributing their gifts by serving others. When you don’t do the self care that your human experience needs, you may be successful and over time, your body will begin to show you it has been neglected. You are an amazing human being with gifts to share and leadership qualities to express. Move forward and express what is yours to express without any regrets.


Remember it’s about quality rather than quantity. If you are ready to step out as the leader you know yourself to be, identify a self-care regimen and follow it. You don’t have to be a Nelson Mandela or a Ruth Bader Ginsberg to be a leader. Just be your brilliant self and share your gifts!

If you are interesting in joining our virtual Complementary Tuesday Resilience Circle, click this link or sign up with the link below. Play with us as you begin to identify your gifts, your life vision and gain more confidence.

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3 Mindset Shifts to Inclusion

How to Create an Inclusive World

What would it be like if you lived in a world where everyone felt included and no one was left out? What if you could include everyone to the extent that they felt valued and thus were willing to share their gifts?

Inclusion of all – no matter race or gender

What is inclusion you may be asking? Inclusion is the action of including all individuals within a group or structure. It is diverse in including everyone whether around race, ethnicity, age, ability, language, nationality, socioeconomic status, gender, religion or sexual orientation.

I imagine you are wondering why I am bringing up inclusion on this mindset blog. I was wondering the same thing until I realized diversity and inclusion are all about mindset.

Have you ever had experiences where you were not included? Do you have internal conversations like: “I don’t matter” or “I have nothing to bring to the table in this conversation.” Does saying what you are thinking open you up to being criticized? Is your mindset worried that the criticism is true? If the story is true, then you would be a fraud and everyone would know the “truth”…“You are not as smart as you pretend to be.” And on and on and on. So instead, you keep quiet and don’t contribute to the conversation. 

Have you ever been in a business or social situation where you didn’t contribute your ideas due to limiting conversations? Yes, we’ve all been in this spot and for some of you, it’s a familiar spot to be in. So much in your world is lost to judgement and not feeling valuable. Consider that there is an entire population in our culture who do not feel valued…those with physical and mental challenges. And yet, they are incredibly gifted individuals. It’s not how smart are you. It’s what are you smart in. With this mindset, everyone can feel included. 

I remember in school when education shifted to group work as opposed to the teacher talking in the front of the room. I found myself sitting back in the group, sometimes even moving my chair out of the circle. I was working really hard to not be noticed and to not open my mouth for fear of criticism. It took a lot of energy to remain invisible. Then my limiting conversations would really get loud. “I can’t do this.” “No-one is going to care what I have to say.” “I’m not smart enough.” And on and on and on. Can you relate?

Everyone deserves to be at the table!

Today, awareness of limiters, allows a conscious shift to strengths and possibilities. What you focus on, you experience more of. That’s just the way it works. Focusing on your contribution and your special view of the world is what matters most? Inclusion in business and life means focusing on what each member of a group brings to the table.

When you experience the big picture of including everyone, you get curious about what other people could bring ‘to the table.’ This expansiveness benefits all people and all projects. It’s not easy to gain this mindset but it will be worth it. 

Inclusion for everyone is like an open book with all the pages on the left filled up and the pages on the right empty. We get to choose how the pages on the right are filled. Be the person who makes the choice to pen your book with a vision of inclusion going forward.

Why would you want to include everyone in your vision, you may be asking? “You worked hard to get to where you are today and look at those people who just abuse drugs. They are making their own bed and you made choices that gave you your bed. You like your bed.” Why should you share your experience after all the hard work?

Would it be all right with you to see that you mirror everything in your life? This deep concept, seeing that you mirror the person who is addicted to drugs or the person who is homeless is a game changer. Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I expressing addiction?” If it isn’t drugs, could it be sugar, television, your phone, gambling, partying…or is it the myriad of other addictions that you as a human being can be expressing? Only when you honestly look in the mirror of your own life, can you begin to have compassion for people on the edge of society and include them.

Temple Grandin found ways to be included and share her gifts.

Your brain is wired to chatter all sorts of negative thoughts with most of these thoughts being unconscious. It is believed that this “negativity bias” is in your DNA and developed during the stone age period. So the truth is your negative chatter is not going away. You will question inclusion principles always. The mission for everyone is to uncover those thoughts, and you have plenty of them in the area of inclusion. 

If you are willing to look at energy for just a moment, you can begin to see what the human experience is all about. Everything is energy. That is a known fact. The trees that are growing upward and the thoughts that you think. It’s all energy. When you look at combustion energy, air and gases are compressed to create ignition. You can ignite your dreams by fueling them with passion like the heat that is needed to change invisible air into steam. Your thoughts are like that. Fueling your thoughts with the heat of passion can cause a thought to occur in real life. 

Include Everyone

You so often get stuck around diversity and fairness. You think  there’s nothing you can do. So ask  yourself, “What baby step can I  take right here, right now?” Then  take it. Think successfully, talk  successfully, and act successfully. 


Know that everything is energy: thoughts, words and actions. Inclusive thoughts, words and actions have the power to make a world that works for everyone. Be the gatekeeper of your thoughts, words and actions. Notice what you’re noticing you are listening to in your ‘chatter box.’ Notice what you’re noticing when you open your mouth and speak. Notice your actions. They are all connected and creating the world you are living. 

Not to go down a rabbit hole with mirroring, energy and negativity bias concepts but the knowing that you create your experience with your thoughts, words and actions. What would you like to see in relation to inclusion and diversity of all human life? Passion inspires and fuels the mind like a combustion engine. The experience of inclusion success can rock your world and the world of so many other people. 

In bringing this blog to landing, I’d like to clarify that inclusion expresses respect and appreciation for all members of society as they are valuable assets to any community. Inclusion expresses and opens the door for everyone to participate in their community settings and be listened to. Their contribution is part of the whole and is a necessary piece to a healed world.  

How to Be an Intuitive Leader

Change Your Thoughts

Are you a leader who spends time on personal growth?
This growing field is so important to leadership and evolution of the human species. Knowing that you have the ability to change your mind’s DNA is a game changer. There are many levels to being able to alter your DNA. The first step to this is recognizing the influence your thoughts have on your life.

I’d like to invite you to make a list of all the thoughts you experience in the next 3 minutes. Go ahead do it, just 3 minutes.
Great! How did you do? Did you have 3, 5, or 25 thoughts? Congratulations on giving this your best shot.

Neuroscience has found that you and I have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, and upwards of 90% of your thoughts are in your subconscious. You don’t even realize you are having them. You are being hijacked by these thoughts over and over and are unaware of it.

Village children and mom’s come to see Muzungu’s

This article is not about how to uncover these subconscious thoughts. Know that you can peel the layers off these subconscious thoughts like peeling an onion. One approach is with the model of coaching I use, created over 45 years ago. You can ‘get at’ what is driving your actions and reactions each day. This article is about changing your thoughts through repetition and thus changing your DNA, giving you more experiences that you choose.  

As the subconscious mind shapes the brain, it changes the DNA. In our culture, we have long felt it’s in our genes. “It’s just the way it is. There’s nothing I can do about it if it’s in my DNA.” Neuroscience has proven that you can reform your DNA through the thoughts that you have.

So you can actually improve it when you notice all the forms of energy you emit. Your thoughts, your words, your feelings and your actions are energy. They express your belief system and create your life. If everything is energy, then your thoughts and emotions permeate the Universe. Your thoughts can be positive or negative all the while changing your brain through neural-plasticity, thus changing your DNA.

You can change your brain through repetition, in other words through repeated positive mental activity. You are creating your life each and every moment of the day. So it is important to notice what you are noticing.

  • Are your thoughts expansive, seeing the possibilities?
  • Are your thoughts contractive, formulated with condition based thinking?

What if the conditions that exist do not have to control the outcome and instead, a passionate vision controls the outcome? See my last blog post from March 2020 about how one person’s passionate vision helped to bring about the Empire State Building during the height of The Great Depression. You can be more interested in your passionate vision than in the stories held in your DNA. You cannot change your past but you can change your DNA going forward. 

You’ll begin to notice this information is popping up in all sorts of places in your life. Neuroscientists are studying the brain differently today through MRI machines. People have been talking about this for years and now the data is available.

In the 1800s, the transcendental movement was developed as a reaction to all that was happening with the Civil War and slavery. These Transcendentalists did not want to talk about what was wrong. They wanted to talk about the possibilities. This brought together a group of some of the great brains of that period such as Emerson, Thoreau and Alcott. They got together in Concord, Massachusetts and started the transcendental movement. The purpose of this movement was to use thoughts to shift the DNA, to shift the negative experiences in the world.

North Bali Sea

Realizing the potential of this information opens up the possibilities and makes people aware that life is a creation. Staying stuck in the programming and paradigms in your life is a choice. You can use thoughts to move out of a negative mindsets and into an expansive view of what’s possible. Staying in an expansive view and repeating this view reforms your DNA, changes your thought patterns and forms new thought patterns that will lead you in the direction of the life you want to live.

What steps can we take to reform our DNA expansively? Do something every single day that scares you and you have not done before.

  • It doesn’t have to be big. It could be walking up to someone who was kind to another person and acknowledge them for it.
  • Or something like when you are sitting with a group of people listening to a speaker, and the speaker asks, “Are there any questions?” Many people have questions and are afraid to ask them. Sometimes for me, I’ll sit in an audience, have a question and not be willing to step up and ask because it’s scary. What if people think that’s a stupid question? What if people know that the question was already answered when the speaker spoke, and I wasn’t listening? What if I’m putting myself center stage in an audience with all these people and what are they going to think of me? Are they going to judge my hair? What do they think of my clothes?

All of us worry about many things. Go ahead and be willing to step up and do the thing that you’re most afraid of. I guarantee if there’s a group of 50 people, 25 of them have that exact same question. There is a group mind that actually brings those questions about and you can be the person that is willing to take the chance to step up, step out and ask the question.

Fetching water and curious about Muzungu’s

Being more interested in the leadership can change DNA and change your mindset.

  • Go ahead and make a decision.
  • Say, “I am doing this thing.”
  • Then take action and do it. Move the focus of control to the center of your being.

Repeating successes builds neural pathways in your brain to have more success. Write successes down and then repeat them. Avoid failure by not focusing on it. It is inevitable that you will notice failure. When you do, shift your focus back to the success stories rather than focusing on the failure which builds neural pathways of failure. You want to build neural pathways to success by catching yourself having success. Give yourself a brain boost. It’s the neuroscience of the win-win and moving forward with your life. Repeat your successes.

If you can dream it, you can be it, do it and have it. Not only watch for opportunities to come up, watch for what you’re longing for, what you’re dreaming of. If you see it in your mind’s eye, you can be it, do it, have it. You have so many possibilities for your life. Playing small does not benefit anyone. Your leadership will make a difference as you stay focused on expansion and shift from negative or contractive thoughts that hijack your leadership. Do something you have never done before and “shift from saying I can’t, to saying, I can!”

How will you use your mind to change your experience? How will you use your thoughts to alter your DNA? You have the option to build the life you desire and to build the vision you know you dream of. This is your human right. Use your mind to shape your experience though your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.